The Beauty of Rejection
A week and a half ago, we were given a task that isn’t your typical university assignment. Instead of doing a case or writing a report, we were given a series of mini-tasks that push us out of our comfort zones to get rejected. I have attached the bingo chart of these tasks below. These tasks can be as simple as “ask someone to compliment you”. Sounds absurd, right? However, being able to learn how to step out of your comfort zone through personal experience instead of concepts in class has really helped me develop significantly as a person. I divided the whole process into three components and will talk about each separately: the thought process, handling rejection, and self-reflection.
Getting rid of the “gremlin” that is holding you back
During our class last week, we had the honor of having Jodi Kovitz, an entrepreneur and woman leader, to come to talk to us about her journey. She described her fears or her perception of fears as a gremlin that she carries around, and she overcomes it by throwing that “gremlin” away. I found this a very interesting way to frame it and found it quite accurate when I was doing my challenges.
The first task I decided to do was to dance in front of a security camera and to really push myself, I chose to do it at Masonville mall where more people were able to see me. I already started to notice people watching as my roommate pulled out her camera and directed towards me. Before I started dancing, I was already scared and thinking about how people would judge me. In my head flashed by all the scenarios that could possibly happen, people would think I am weird; I would receive dirty looks; I might get kicked out of the mall by security. The number of things that flew through my brain in that short 3-minute timeframe was absurd. It truly did feel like a gremlin was attached to me and I was feeding off its negativity.
Reflecting on it now, it is true that whenever I try to challenge myself, I tend to think of the negative outcomes first, and often let that perception of fear take control of my decision to not pursue it. Sometimes we have to shake that “gremlin” away and just trust our guts. So, at that very moment, I stopped thinking about the consequences and just went with it. I did my silly dance while holding my breath and realized after that I was so into doing it that I barely paid attention to my surrounding. I felt a sense of excitement arise, not because I crossed out a box on my bingo chart, but because I made my first step to fight that perception of fear.
Handling rejection and being persistent
For me personally, I don’t see rejection as the hardest part to overcome, because I can just walk away and never see that person again. However, being persistent and asking again even after being rejected is something that I truly fear. I always feel a sense of embarrassment after being rejected and that makes me want to run away. The task that I am tackling this time is asking to try to buy something that is not on sale.
My accountability buddy Jordanna and I went to Lone Star for dinner, and at the end of dinner, I asked if I was able to purchase a bracelet that the waitress was wearing. I chose that specific object because I knew for sure that I will get rejected. She looked at me oddly and told me no. My face felt hot — I was red because of embarrassment. As she was about to walk away, I exchanged eye contact with Jordanna, and she nodded encouragingly. I took a deep breath and asked again. As expected, she politely said no again and walked away. I felt relieved: the reaction was not as bad as I thought after all.
After discussing with Jordanna, I came to a realization that I am not memorable nor important enough for the waitress to keep on thinking about my odd request. I need to stop thinking about what other people think of me. At the end of the day, it’s my self-perception that stops me from being persistent and asking a second time. To further explain, my self-perception is that I want to maintain a cool and care-free image to show that I am okay with being rejected when I am not. This is why I scramble to run away after rejection so that I don’t need to face it a second time. I think it’s important for us as individuals to properly acknowledge our fears, and understanding my self-perception was a good place to start.
Self-reflection
After completing each task, I try to do a bit of a self-reflection. Not only to see how well I did with pushing myself out of my comfort zone but also to gain a better understanding of why I am scared. Just like the two examples, I listed above, oftentimes we tend to overthink what people think of ourselves; we picture judgments that might never have existed in the first place. We let that perception restrain us from doing a lot of things.
I see self-reflection as a very important component of becoming a better version of myself. Without reflecting on these tasks, I wouldn’t have been able to gain a deeper understanding of my perceived fears, and instead just walked out of this activity ticking off some bingo boxes. I am also very thankful for having an accountability buddy to discuss these thoughts along the way.
After the completion of each task, I find it easier to complete the next one. I feel more confident and comfortable with challenging myself to step outside of what I normally do. I see that as the beauty of rejection.
